This past week, I have been living in a haze of cough medicine, Nyquil, stress and anxiety. I break down and start crying over small things and back off when things don’t go smoothly; everything seems too chaotic and overwhelming. My mind races with worries of anything negative I can conjure up. I am insecure and self-conscious. I don’t want to talk and nothing can hold my attention.
But tonight I am going to Lululemon for “Vino and Vinyasa.” As much as I want to stay home curled up in the darkness, I am going to a yoga social gathering. Of, course I am going with a friend, of the friend variety that I would not have to talk to if I did not feel like talking.
The DJ began mixing records as the tight space filled up with mats lined across the retail floor of the store. “It’s hard not to shop while you’re sitting on your mat.,” the girl in front of me said, looking at a tank top dangling above my head. The evening’s ambiance is of a church youth group gathering mixed with the memory of me as a child yearning so badly to crawl through and hide in the racks of clothing throughout department stores, topped off with some good wine and friendly people.
“Let’s kick this shit,” the yoga instructor announces as he leads us into our first pose of the evening. As we all lowered into chaturanga, the DJ plays music that sounded more like groans of pleasure than music. I am almost certain there is someone on the other side of the room having sex as the instructor walks through our mats speaking words of spiritual wisdom. Throughout the night, my arms and legs repeatedly ended up in the rack of clothes I am practicing next to. My body feels light and strong. Despite the unique nature of the night, my heart is lighter and lighter, so much so that I no longer yearn for the darkness of a corner.
I think I have found the perfect cocktail for anxiety, stress and illness.
Do Your Om Thing 